That Butler: Comedian
by rheanette16
Summary: My second parody fanfic next to vampire knight. Kuroshitsuji is recently the anime I watched and it had caught my heart. Sebastian is love.
1. Chatroom

**Author's Notes:**

**And once again, I found myself making another parody fanfic. I'm quite touched when I made Vampire Knight parody, and still, I realized that I want to make you guys laugh even more, and well, yes. **

**Of course, I don't own Kuroshitsuji slash Black Butler. I just want to make it a lighter plot., of course, making myself, and.. if possible, you guys laugh. Anyway, please enjoy. **

_Brattykid has joined the conference_

_Scissorhands has joined the conference _

Brattykid: who are you?

Scissorhands: I'm the most beautiful shinigami in the whole wide world!

Brattykid: okay, stop. I know who you are already.

_Ilooklikealphonselric has joined the conference_

Ilooklikealphonselric: YOHO!

Brattykid: Finnian! Do you need to be so loud?

Ilooklikealphonselric: My deepest apologies, bocchan! It's my first time using the laptop.. Bard was so kind to lend it to me XDDD

Brattykid: poor Bard. He saved his three-month salary for that laptop.

Scissorhands: eh? What makes you say that, earl?

Ilooklikealphonselric: wait? Why isn't this key working?! OMG!! I flattened the keyboard!

Brattykid: *sigh* I knew it. Finnian is always up to no good. Where are the others?

Scissorhands: what others?

Brattykid: since Sebasstian taught me how to use the chatroom, I told the representatives from other companies to log on. But they're not here so I guess it's time to sleep. I'm still waiting for Sebastian.

Scissorhands: OH 3 Sebby's going to go online?! Does he have a cam? So… you know. Kyahaaaa! 3

Brattykid: stop it, Grell. Sebastian is mine.

Scissorhands: heh! I hate brats. That's pedophilia, you know. You're making Sebby-chan look like a dirty old man. Oh wait,,, he's not old! You're making him a dirty hot man.

Brattykid: …

_Theredcrab has joined the conference_

Scissorhands: Sebas-chan!! 33

Theredcrab: Bocchan, I've already cleaned the rooms, repaired the piano, tidied the dining room, washed Pluto, bought another batch of silverwares and… finished baking the banana muffin pie.

Brattykid: good.

Scissorhands: is there such a thing as a muffin pie?

Theredcrab: well, Mr. Sutcliffe, if you're someone like me, surely you can invent something like that for your master's content.

Scissorhands: tch. Sebby!! That kid is getting on my nerves! He stops us from using cyber and all! I brought a really cute thong today…

Theredcrab: You know what they say… 'the seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake.'

Scissorhands: is that a song?

Theredcrab: well, Bocchan and I watched old movies earlier. And I suffered from LSS.

Brattykid: okay, I'm going to hit the sack. This conference isn't getting anywhere anyway. Sebastian, I'm leaving my door opened. Just come to my room when you feel like it.

Theredcrab: yes, my lord.

_Brattykid has signed out. _

Scissorhands: Sebby!! Why are you going in his room? Why don't you go in my room?

Theredcrab: as you can see, I don't even have the likes for you. Well, if you will excuse me. My master is waiting.

_Scissorhands has invited Theredcrab to view his webcam. _

Scissorhands: just for a bit?

_Theredcrab has accepted the invitation to view Scissorhands' webcam. _

Theredrcrab: O_O omfd! ( Oh my f*cking devil )

_The redcrab has left the conference. _

Scissorhands: sigh~ I'm so alone.

Ilooklikealphonselric: is someone still here?

Scissorhands: 8DDD

_Scissorhands has invited Ilooklikealphonselric to view his webcam _


	2. Breakfast

"BOCCHAN GOOD MOHNING!!"

Ciel was not pleased when he heard Sebastian's dreadfully cheerful voice early in the morning. He irately sat up, scratching his head.

"What in the world?!"

"Bocchan, I prepared you tea with five sugar cubes, candies that are dipped in chocolate, and some chocolate fountain brownies for breakfast." His butler smiled.

"What?! Do you want me to die because of diabetes?" Ciel asked, eventually removing his clothes infront of his butler.

"Well, bocchan. You're still a kid so you have to eat lots of sweets. Lady Elizabeth asked me to prepare those for you."

"What? Elizabeth is here?" Ciel asked.

"Yes. She's waiting for you in the dining hall."

"Fuck. I hate girls. The manga is obviously promoting shounen-ai and pedophilia. Why must there be girls?!" Ciel pouted as he let Sebastian dress him up for the day.

"Well, I believe that was to hide the fact that the manga is … a lemon?"

"How can the manga be a lemon? It's made of papers."

"Well… only the fanfic readers are capable of understanding that. Well, bocchan, if you will allow me… it's very un-gentlemanly of a man to be making a woman wait for him." Sebastian smiled as he accompanied his little master down to the dining hall where a blond, ponytailed girl was waiting for him.

Ciel stopped in his tracks, wondering what kind of greeting should he give his fiancé.

"There, you see her. Sitting there across the hall. She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her… and you don't know why but you're dyin' to try you wanna kiss the girl~"

"SEBASTIAN! WOULD YOU STOP SINGING?!"

"My apologies, my lord."

The rather loud exclamation of Ciel alarmed Elizabeth and she quickly ran to him, squeezing his body and hugging him, throwing him around in circles like she usually does.

"Ciel, good morning!"

"Lizzy!! Would you please stop doing that thing everytime we meet?!"

"B-but… it's… part of my lines… and script." His fiancé answered.

"UGH! Nevermind! Where's Meirin? Bard, and Finny?" Ciel asked.

"Boocchhaaann!" Mei Rin immediately attended to the little boy's needs as she went to the hall with a tray on her hand. "Bocchan, Finny and Bard went to the motel- I mean! To the repairman because Finnian broke Bard's laptop."

"Sigh! Since technology's evolving, there are lots and lots of gadgets that are being invented! Life is becoming more and more complicated!" Ciel whined.

"Bocchan, you still have to admit that it's making life easier." Sebastian smiled.

"ANYWAY! What did Grell show you in the conference last night?" Ciel asked.

"Bocchan, I am NOT cheating on you." Sebastian immediately answered.

" I didn't say anything about you cheating on me! I was just curious! It took a really long while before you were able to come to my room." Ciel narrowed his eyes.

"Well,… Bocchan, if you would excuse me for a while, I'm going to the kitchen to take your breakfast out." Sebastian immediately skipped to the kitchen, leaving MeiRin, Elizabeth and Ciel behind.

"SEBASTIAN I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!" Ciel followed after his butler, eventually tripping because of the looooong curtain hanging from his butt.

SEBASTIAAAANNNN MICHAELISSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!


End file.
